Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Back when Sgt. Joe Friday was out protecting the innocent, playing gun-slinging straight-laced police officer, 1960’s television hero, he could never have imagined the gunfight and carnage that is about break out in Chicago’s sanitary zone.

I can see it know… Sgt. Joe Friday interviews a Captain in the US Army Corp Engineers. In a mature and timbre voice: “Just tell me the facts ma’am. Just tell me the facts.”

April 29, 2011 AP - CHICAGO — A "gun" that shoots powerful pulses of water might be used to keep Asian carp from slipping into Lake Michigan near a Chicago shipping lock if testing this summer determines it wouldn't damage the structure, an official from the U.S Geological Survey said Thursday.

"Hey Charlie, I'm kind of beaten up and bloody from
those water guns. I think we're going to have to call
your cousin in China and import our own bighead guns."  

The water cannon, which creates enough energy to deter or kill fish, could be positioned near the lock, the point where some fear the invasive carp could get into the lake if the fish somehow got through electrical barriers already operating in canals farther inland, said Leon M. Carl, USGS regional executive.

"My guess is that this would stop them ... and that would be to me something that we'd really like to have in place," Carl told The Associated Press after a public hearing, calling the water guns an "urgent" measure to deter and control the carp. http://online.wsj.com/article/AP17a27286f1b3417d98c0fa1b84bcac02.html

What the heck? We spend $19 million to build the Chicago Sanitary Barrier and Ship Canal, which emits 15 electric pulses per second to repel Asian carp and shock them if they venture too close. Now we’re going to spend another several thousand dollars for each water gun to bloody and shoot them up? Sounds like a video game in the making.

Schooner or Later… I knew the Asian Carp were going to reach our pristine Minnesota waters. What the heck?

Earlier this week I read about a rogue Bighead Carp that was pulled from the Lower St. Croix River. For those of you that personally know me, I’ve been working on launching Bob Lake – an apparel company that is launching more than boats. We’re launching an invasive movement against aquatic invasive species.

For more nearly a year, this fashionista has been researching and creating designs about aquatic invasive species, hoping to instill fear into your hearts that these monsters disguised in seemingly harmless aquatic species are planning to take over our American waters! Pike Up! This is really, really bad.

Last week a commercial fisherman netting for buffalo and common carp caught a 27-pound Bighead Carp just north of the St. Croix's confluence with the Mississippi River. Oh Carp! This is really, really bad.

It was the seventh bighead carp found in eastern border waters since 1996 but the sixth since 2003. DNR officials stressed the fish appears to be a loner that swam north and there's no indication yet of a reproducing population in Minnesota portions of the Mississippi or St. Croix rivers.

Hey, who is kidding whom? Like all aquatic invasive species, Bighead Carp are extremely prolific and these guys are going to cost us tax payers big bucks. Unless we all get serious about Stopping the Spread, it’s just a matter of time before these river bullies are invading our Great Lakes.

Oh Carp! Stop the Spread!

Newsflash: Study Says Young Asian Carp Could Bypass Electric Barrier

Without it, there’s no stopping them. With it, Asian Carp are striding confidently, taking care of business and displaying feats of stamina usually reserved for thoroughbreds.

So we’re guessing by now you’ve learned a thing or two about Asian Carp, thanks to Carp Czar John Gross, Notre Dame’s David Lodge and Wildlife Forever’s Doug Grann. You probably know that these fish are designed to out smart the Army Corps of Engineers and are poised to take over your local body of water.

Charlie Carp

What you may not know, the Army Corps of Engineers has long contended that its $10 million electric barrier in the Chicago Sanitary and Ship Canal that has prevented invasive, Asian Carp from getting into the Great Lakes, where many fear they could wreak environmental havoc.

But a year-old study finally released by the Corps on March 24 shows the barrier could indeed be breached by 2- to 3-inch-long baby bighead carp -- one of the breeds of Asian carp already proliferating in waterways linking the Mississippi River and Lake Michigan. This is a huge bummer!

Oh Carp! We’ve got to do everything we can to stop these carppy bastards!

A mysterious and unknown sea creature of origins from some far away body of water has invaded the Indian River Lagoon

A mysterious and unknown sea creature of origins from some far away body of water has been found in Indian River Lagoon in Brevard County, Florida.

The invading creature that looks like bunched up bright red blob with daisy petals, it appears to be an ascidian, better known as a sea squirt. The million-dollar question and mystery resides in exactly how this invader got into the lagoon and where it came from.

The one thing researchers and scientists know for sure is that the invader is overgrowing native oysters, a keystone organism for the health of the waterway as well as an important part of the local economy. And it may be part of an ugly trend.

Dr. Walters

According to our hero, University of Central Florida biologist Dr. Linda Walters; global warming may be partly to blame with this invader, as water temperatures rise and create inviting environments for species that typically stay in tropical climates farther south.

Dr. Walters has been monitoring the lagoon and helping to restore its oyster population for the past 14 years. “You go girl!” This new unnamed invader competes with native species and is disrupting the natural ecosystem, and like other known aquatic invasive species it also has very real consequences. 

In Brevard, for example, if oysters can’t grow because of an invasive species, they can’t clean the lagoon. It’s estimated that one oyster filters five gallons of water a day, which quite possibly… these oysters could be out performing my Brita Water Filter!

Oyster Mats

So here’s the skinny for all of us seafood lovers… The oysters provide refuge to native species such as blue crab, shrimp and red fish. Without our native oysters, many other creatures’ food sources disappear. In the Indian River Lagoon, Walters has identified 149 species that rely on native oysters in a balanced ecosystem. 

Oh Carp! We’ve got to Stop the Spread!